Am I 23 or still 15???
Hmmm... been told of by my mum tonite coz balik lewat.. well takder ar lewat sampai 2-3 pagi.. anyway i was on the way home la. I really feel like i'm being treated like a kid, not like someone whose 23. Ntah la, iyer la.. i'm not like my big bro yang join tabligh tu.. or like my 2 lil bro.. yang join tabligh also.. but still i dont like being treated like that, i know la its not nice for someone kuar malam2 buta coz mungkin akan jadik hal2 yang tak elok, tapi I'm big enuf to know what is right and what is wrong, I need to stand on my own two feet to learn the hardway. Iye la, parents maner tak worried, tapi aku dah bagitau where i was at that time. Memang takder tempat lain aku nak pergi, ntah arr.. sometimes I dont really understand them.
I'm not manipulating the freedom they gave me, but hey.. lama mana lagi arr nak buat aku camnih. Worst thing I did is just coming home late, not like those kids who sneak out without their parents knowledge.. pastu balik awal pagi.. heyyy.. i'm not like these people laa... ni pun kira baik arr i'm not going out often. I dont drink.. i dont smoke... i dont do clubbing... i dont lepak .. i dont lumba haram.. i dont go out ngorat anak dara org.. Just because I live with my parents, I have to behave like a 15 year old git.. camner arr aku nak kenal kawan kalo tak kuar and meet them.
Kalo ikutkan hati masa balik tadik mau pergi direct ke aloq staq and stay ngan tokwan aku over the weekend.. tapi I'm not like that.. better go home and face the firing squad and get over it.
By the way.. kuar tadik pun ngan kak ani.. and from my previous blog.. i dont fancy her.. its just a friendship and i enjoy her company, we hang out together... especially shopping.. her mum is okay with me taking her out, and all we did is just walking around kat ekspo seberang jaya tuh and watching the concert kat ekspo tuh.
I know la my mum worried about me.. she have the right to be angry at me.. tapi why ???? I've already told them where i was, and i'm not flouting with the rules, and i didnt hide anything from my mum. Mannn... why sooo worried about me?? Just because i'm different when compared to my bros, i dont get any freedom. I wish i was working in kl like my bro, or still studying elsewhere far from home. its the only places i get my freedom compared to home. I wish my mum understand what i'm going tru.. with low grade degree, pastu little chance of continuing studies, work pun tak tentu arah laie, love live like shit or better still zilch, my only output is to talk and be with someone who are my age or understand me...
How i wish i was back in belfast, at least i get my freedom, i get to go out early in the morning just to get something to eat, or return late over the weekends, or hang out with my friends.
Balik msia nih, i dont really know who are my frens, nak kuar malam susahh, siang keje.. malam takder peluang langsung nak buat aper2, arituh berbual kat gerai kawan pun mak marah... i know la i have my own life.. tapi let me be independent to lead that life.. Yes i want to learn it the hard way, at least i get to appreciate life.
Nak jalan jauh pun kena pikir beribu2 kali.. like turun kl ker aper, i have to come up with a list of reasoning kalo nak do something..
Someone please help meee!!!